[In this section we seek to answer frequently asked questions, at U.L.T. meetings or during private conversations and discussions with people who seek the answers in the light of Theosophy. Answers given in this section are by no means final. Only a line of thought is being offered by applying general principles of Theosophy.]

Question: How do we help someone terminally ill?

Answer: A terminally ill person has a few hours, days or months left for a possible stay on earth, and death resulting from the incurable illness is certain. Few of us plan for our death or are ready for the eventuality or for the uncertainty of the future. Most people shirk the very idea and the mystery of death—either their own or that of their near ones. This avoidance "to consider," is due to fear and anxiety, arising out of ignorance regarding the processes of life and death and their meaning. Some actually shirk the reality of death staring at them and which they are forced to accept. These attitudes arise out of the anguish felt, or because of a sense of helplessness, even denial and anger. Ignorantly, some may anticipate "darkness at the end of the tunnel" or an unknown destination. There is a fear that dying is a painful end. All these negative beliefs prevent us from making ourselves capable of helping the dying, or in one's own case, to make peace with life and death.

To be able to provide support and comfort to the terminally ill person, we must not only understand the nature of terminal illness and death but have enough equipoise to be able to first take charge of ourself. It needs a certain amount of inner stamina, but above all it is love, tenderness and concern for the possible grief and suffering of the dying person that fortifies us to release our higher instincts to guide us. Love and goodwill, after all, are the most effective remedy for all problems concerning human relationships, or in handling our co-pilgrims in need of succour. For love leads to instinctive understanding of the need of our fellowmen and helps us handle, adequately, any life situation.

Given these qualities, needed in one on whom has fallen the opportunity to lend a helping hand and to back the sagging morale of the dying, little can be said as thumb rule on "dos" and "don'ts." For "love leads the way," if we give it a chance!

By avoiding talking about death and dying, we deprive ourselves of possible moral support and emotional succour. However, if the person needs to talk, we must make ourselves fully open or show our readiness to share the grief, anxiety, anticipation and even his future plans. We have to help the individual to open up. For, some patients like to discuss freely, others prefer privacy, some resent pity, some crave for sympathy, some may actually withdraw into their shell. But even when apparently unconscious, the dying person is inwardly aware of the presence of others and that makes the difference. It makes him feel that the others do care, and let us say so by warm touch or by soothing words. No one should feel that he goes through it alone.

Dealing with emotions is an art. For instance, the crucial stage for close relatives to face, is to be able to help the individual overcome the initial shock, and later make dying acceptable to all concerned. Time and skill will help to bring this about. Meanwhile, it is soothing to talk about the things of interest or value relevant to him—"the good old days," the precious things done together in the past, and even to revive pleasant memories and affections. Anything to bring out closeness, warmth, understanding, etc.

"Death is the final stage of growth," and it is a door to a heaven of rest and recouping. The moment of death is never painful; it is release from pain and from a body that can serve no useful purpose any more. For some, as H.P.B. says, death comes as a deliverer and a friend. Our ancients believed that a great Being—Yama or Siva (our own Higher Self)—presides over death and dying. Such knowledge fortifies the living as well as the dying. And the hope of a great "after-life" helps many to go through it all peacefully.

The least we can do is to send our best thoughts and ideations to the dying, so as to enable them to better endure their suffering.

Question: What is the Theosophical view regarding the use of contraceptives?

Answer: Theosophically, it is wrong to use contraceptives as it is tantamount to misusing the procreative powers. The main function of the sexual activity is production of progeny. H.P.B. describes the laws of Manu on connubial life as "far-seeing and morally beneficent." She writes: "The Brahmin was a grihastha, a family man, till a certain period of his life, when after begetting a son, he broke with married life and became a chaste Yogi. His very connubial life was regulated by Brahmin astrologers in accordance with his nature" (S.D., I, 411 fn.). Further, by using contraceptives, we prevent the egos waiting to incarnate, to come into the world. Selfish economic considerations have produced the movement of birth control. It encourages youth to gratify promiscuously their lust. This evil is widespread. It is sex impurity which corrupts marriage. Sex immorality has taken hold of our civilization. The best method is that suggested by Gandhiji, viz., abstention and self-control. The Theosophical view regarding the use of contraceptives is expressed in the article "The Problem of Sex" (The Theosophical Movement, Vol. 22, p. 123, April 1952):

Physical birth-control methods have vast potentialities for harm, because of their unnatural, gross character (since the sex act is not merely physical); and, though the astrological method of avoiding conception though indulging in marital relations is only the lesser of two evils, and was—up to the beginning of the present race—regarded as sin and sorcery, yet it is preferable to the crude and empiric methods of ignorant materialism. The occult influence of the moon and its conjunction regulate conceptions, and marital relations during certain lunar phases are known to be sterile. Indulgence at those times as considered as sorcery, but, being based on the knowledge of the human psycho-physical constitution, it is less dangerous to it than the empiric methods, though the moral responsibility and retribution cannot be evaded.

One desiring to live the Higher Life must learn to control the animal nature, as the sex act on the physical plane proportionately diminishes the activity of the creative power on the higher plane. There is a direct relation between sexual act and pineal gland. In the article "The Pineal Gland and Morality" (The Theosophical Movement, Vol. 7, p. 72, March 1937), we are told:

Practical Occultism founded on the Esoteric Philosophy recognizes the direct and intimate connection subsisting between the Pineal Gland and the genitalia. These two are creative poles, and when one is positive and active, a proportionate negative and passive condition is produced in the other. When the North Pole of the Pineal Gland is active, it creates children of ideas and thoughts; when the South Pole of the generative organ is active, children of the flesh are created.

The Pineal Gland is the Heart of the Mind—the seat of Love without any trace of lust, seat of Compassion without any trace of passion. In the ordinary individual both the Pineal Gland and the genitalia are active by turns, and therefore he is a mixture of lust and love, of passion and compassion, of evil and good. Our moral perceptive capacity and our mental creative faculties are impaired and distorted when the Pineal Gland becomes only the feeder of genitalia. Marriage as a spiritual institution and the foundation of the Householder stage (grihastha ashrama) offers the necessary means of adjustment between the two creative poles. It will be readily seen why Occultism strongly opposes mechanical devices for birth prevention; such frustrate the very purpose of Marriage. Occultism also recognizes the higher stage in which the Yogi observes strict celibacy for the harmonious development of psycho-spiritual powers.

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

—Elbert Green Hubbard